


Talking to the Moon

by chloeyo



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, I Love You, missing eachother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-08-31 02:39:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8560132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chloeyo/pseuds/chloeyo
Summary: See Talking to the Moon by Bruno Mars.Coulson and May always loved to talk to each other. It was the one thing they knew the other would always be there for. Being separated by unknown, mystical forces isn't gonna stop them from doing that.





	

Hey May. I think you may have noticed that I’m not around at the moment. Sorry about that. We’re trying to find our way back-- trying. But it’s not looking good. I’m staying optimistic, but it’s getting hard.

I’m stuck. Both literally and figuratively. You know better than anyone that when I’m stuck, I like to do something else. There’s not much to do here but talk, so I’ll talk to you.

You’ve always been my favorite person to vent to. You know what to say. You know what I need to hear.

Remember when I was so stressed out about my Tactics final I knocked on your dorm room window with two bottles of cheap beer from that crappy liquor store? We had only known eachother for a couple of months but for some reason I knew I could talk to you. Of course, there was a very real possibility that you would throw me off the window ledge for waking you up the night before your Marksmanship exam. But you didn’t. You reassured me then and you’ve been doing it ever since.

It’s been a couple of weeks since the incident. I hope by now you’ve figured out that Mr.Morrow is the madman behind all of this. He’s dangerous. Stay safe, ok? I know you’ll take care of everyone else before yourself, you always do. But you need to think about yourself too. In case you forgot, you just died. You’re the one who told me that it’s impossible to go through a trauma like that and not come out unchanged.

I don’t know how much you remember from when you were infected with the ghost disease, but I felt so helpless. All I could try to do was talk you down. It worked for a little while but the disease got bad fast. I could tell you were terrified, that’s why it broke my heart to see you in that straight jacket. It broke my heart even more when the director told me your location was classified. I’m starting to think there’s something off about him. Fitz certainly doesn’t trust him.  
Speaking of Fitz, he’s a mess. Apparently he couldn’t get ahold of Simmons the day of the incident. The last time he saw her she was trying to figure out how to pass the lie detector test after she helped Daisy. I can see why he’s stressed out. You should have seen me when I didn’t know where you were. Running around, trying to get answers-- Simmons even told me it was ‘classified’. I felt like Daisy back when Ward and Fitz blindly went on that suicide mission back at the hub. Trusting the system is hard when it keeps you from knowing the status of the ones you care about the most.

Seeing your vitals and how messed up they were made me imagine what it would be like if you didn’t make it out. I hate the thought of it.  
You said you saw me when you died, right? Well, I don’t know why, but all I can think about right now is you. Hell, who am I kidding? I can’t stop thinking about you because I love you. It sucks that it takes you dying and me disappearing for me to realize it, but I do. I’m coming home, May. Some how. I have to. I love you.

* * *

 

You’re out there. Somewhere. I know it. You have to be. Everyone’s slowly giving up. First it was Mack. Then Daisy fell back into her ‘it’s all my fault’ mode. Simmons doesn’t want to believe that Fitz is gone, but she can’t argue with the science. As for me I haven’t given up. I know you’re out there, Phil. There’s no proof you’re alive, but there’s also no proof that you’re dead-- and that’s enough for me. We won’t stop until we get answers. I need you back home.  
I told you that I saw you when I died, but I didn’t tell you what I saw exactly. I saw and felt every moment we’ve had together at once. All the pranks, the late night cramming, the missions, all those days we ended with a drink in your office: all at once. It was amazing, yes. But tragic, because I knew I was leaving you behind. I didn’t want to. That’s probably why I felt so much relief when Simmons brought me back. I was relieved because I knew I would see you again. And I will see you again.

  
I’ve been occupying your cabin in the Zephyr if that’s alright. The rest of the bunks are taken. That and yours is the biggest, even if it is filled with all your ancient memorabilia.

  
Daisy’s not herself right now. She hasn't been for the past nine months but she's reached a new low. Earlier she was feeling the pain but she pushed it aside. Now she just doesn't want to feel anything. Her face is always stoic and she only replies with nods and grunts. Sounds like me, I know. That's why I'm watching her. You were our family, Phil.

  
Lola’s doing ok. Mack’s been obeying your ‘Don’t touch Lola’ rule. I’ve been taking care of her, taking her out every now and then. Helps with the stress, makes me feel like you’re here. It’s nothing compared to how I feel when you’re actually here, though. I’ve missed that feeling. The way you crack jokes, the way you randomly spout knowledge about something that happened a million years ago, the way you smile at me when you think you’ve said something smart. I miss all of it.

  
We’ve had a couple decades as friends, good friends. Nothing more than that. And it’s been great. Knowing we have each other to trust no matter what. But I never thought that I’d want anything more than that, but I do. Now I do. I don't know if it was the long weeks away from each other or the dying but something was telling me maybe we can be something more. Maybe. But this? You not being here and your return being indefinite? That is what made me realize that I love you. I always have. Granted not always the same level of love, but this one feels right. You just need to get back here so I can tell you.


End file.
